From fear to a future:
How SADA helped me move on from domestic abuse
I guess you don’t think you would ever be the one to be manipulated or let someone put you down and tell you that you are doing wrong. Not by someone who is supposed to love and care for you. I thought that. I believed I was strong, intelligent, funny and most importantly loving and caring. It didn’t take much for me to think the opposite about myself and to love and care for someone that did not care for or love me.
I am one of the lucky ones. I get to look back at what could have been and what life could have been like. For a huge amount of people this is still their reality every day. This is simply because the fear of staying needs to be greater than the fear of leaving, before we are able to make changes for ourselves. It was fear that made my choices, fear of him that controlled every aspect of my life and fear that stopped me from leaving.
Becoming a parent changed my life. It saved my life and gave me purpose. It was the fear of staying at this point that forced me to do the right thing. It helped me to realise I am strong, intelligent, funny and most importantly loving and caring, because this little person depended on me. My baby was my saviour and my reason for living. But this was just the beginning of my journey. Now I had a tie to this person wanting to destroy me, for the rest of my life and I was determined to keep me and my little one safe.
I never thought I would be at a place in my life where I could feel safe and happy again. It became normal to feel scared at every moment. This all changed when SADA (Survivors Against Domestic Abuse) got in touch. They offered to support me, to listen and to understand. Even my closest family members, no matter how hard they tried, couldn’t understand why I made the choices I made or why I stayed. But SADA did. They had been there themselves. They gave me my freedom and an understanding of what happened to me.
The SADA team is made up of professionals and survivors who make it a priority to support all Domestic Abuse victims and survivors across Stevenage, North Hertfordshire, Welwyn and Hatfield and East Hertfordshire. They cover a wide range of support from security, court orders and refuge spaces to drop in services and courses to help parents. They offer support and guide you to be the best person you can be. They support your choices and listen to what it is you need as an individual. Every person’s story is different, but we are all survivors.
If you live in Stevenage, North Hertfordshire, Welwyn and Hatfield or East Hertfordshire and you are experiencing domestic abuse, talk to SADA by email SADA@stevenage.gov.uk or phone 01438 242666. Support is waiting for you when you are ready.